My ultimate goal as a coach of three to seven year-olds is to create space for them to feel safe and supported in exploring all movements that excite them.
Sure, some movements can be dangerous to them and others.
But do you know the best way to encourage kids to do something dangerously? Tell them not to do it. Even if they're not disobedient right away, they will remain curious and want to try it when you're not looking.
Let's take kicking, for example. It's a great movement. It's fun, empowering, and has lots of uses. One of those uses happens to be hitting other people.
So if telling a child not to kick other people is naturally going to make them want to attack the shins of a friend, what should we do?
No child is born with a desire to commit violence. It's something they pick-up from movies or role models.
They are also not born with the power of empathy. Empathy is a complex emotion that requires you to think outside of yourself. So it is a learnt skill that takes a bit of practice.
Kicking is one of those skills that presents an awesome opportunity for a child to learn empathy.
(By the way, I've always preferred that language. I can't 'teach' a child empathy or kicking, but I can help them learn it for themselves. In other words, if I tell them to be empathetic, it's not something they chose to do. It's just another thing an adult said to do or not to do. Instantly, kids will want to try the opposite. But I can show them what empathy is and most likely they'll want to try it too).
First, you give them a chance to practice the move. Show them, break it down and let them practice lots. Exposure, as I said before, doesn't equal violence. As a teacher or parent, if you place your trust in your child like this, they will naturally give you trust back. The language I mention above is super duper important.
Our job is to then model the uses of a kick. We have already earnt their respect and they are now much more interested in what you have to say. If I say, "I'm part of the Secret Ninja School and as Ninjas, we don't hit other people," you are giving them a chance to make that part of their identity too.
Without building the trust in the first step, though, kids won't respond to the culture we try to create around step two. They won't want to make step two part of their identity.
As always, with any interaction with children, you have to be fluid and respond to the situation as it happens. So long as you bring respect to the interaction, they will be keen to show you respect in return.
Here's an example of how we have helped Prep students at a school in Victoria learn how to love kicking and looking after each other at the same time.
